What’s actually going on down there

The pelvic floor isn’t a single muscle. It’s a group of muscles at the base of your pelvis that support your bladder and bowel, and help keep the urethra closed when you don’t want it open. When these muscles lose strength — or the signal from your nervous system gets a little less precise — that’s when small leaks start to show up.

Why this becomes more common later in life

Muscle naturally loses some strength with age, and the pelvic floor is no exception. Nerve signals become slightly less sharp, and for some men, changes in the prostate play a role too. None of this is alarming. It mostly means these muscles deserve a bit more attention as you get older — the same way your knees or lower back do.

Finding the right muscles

Here’s where most men go wrong: they tense their abs or their glutes and assume that counts. It doesn’t. The pelvic floor works more subtly than that.

One way to locate it: next time you urinate, try stopping the stream for a second — just once, as a test, not as a regular exercise. The muscles you use to do that are your pelvic floor. Interrupting your stream too often isn’t a good idea, so use this only to identify the right muscles. Another way to find the feeling: tighten as if you’re holding in gas, without using your stomach or glutes.

The actual exercise

Tighten the pelvic floor gently, hold for three to five seconds, then release completely. Repeat ten times, three times a day. Keep breathing normally — a lot of men hold their breath without realizing it, which actually makes the exercise less effective.

Start lying down, knees slightly bent. Once that feels familiar, move to sitting, and eventually standing — which is closer to the real-life situations where you need this control anyway.

Give it real time before judging results

Most men notice little to nothing in the first couple of weeks. That’s expected. For most, it takes four to six weeks of consistent practice before there’s a noticeable difference. If you quit after two weeks because “it’s not working,” you never really gave it a fair shot.

While you’re working through that build-up period, it helps to not have to think about your underwear at the same time. Proud Underwear, a Dutch brand, makes boxer briefs with a thin, absorbent layer built in — for the occasional drip, without anything about them looking or feeling clinical. Just underwear that quietly does a bit more while you work on the rest.

When to bring in a professional

Some men are fine figuring this out on their own. Others aren’t sure they’re using the right muscles, and that’s exactly what a pelvic floor physiotherapist is trained to help with. If you’ve practiced consistently for six to eight weeks without any change, that’s also a good reason to check in with your doctor.

See a doctor regardless if leakage gets worse, if urinating is painful, or if you notice blood in your urine.

The bottom line

Pelvic floor exercises cost nothing, need no equipment, and take a few minutes a day. What they do ask for is patience. For men willing to give it that, the odds of improvement are real — and so is the sense of having some control over it.

This article is for general information only and isn’t a substitute for medical advice. If symptoms persist, speak with your doctor.

Frequently asked questions

How do I know I’m using the right muscles? Try interrupting your urine stream once, as a test. The muscles you use for that are your pelvic floor — your stomach and glutes should stay relaxed.

How long until I notice a difference? Most men notice a change after four to six weeks of consistent practice. Some need a bit longer.

Is this only relevant for older men? No. Pelvic floor weakness and leakage can happen at any age, though it becomes more common from around age 60 onward.

When should I see a pelvic floor physiotherapist? If you’re unsure whether you’re using the right muscles, or if six to eight weeks of consistent practice brings no improvement.